Face Punch made for an awkward three-way date for Bella Swan, but it was just the mind-numbing action movie she needed to distract herself from Edward in New Moon. What other flicks would have made Bella’s best of the year list? And which of her Forks cohorts and Volturi frenemies have the year’s hottest (and freakiest) films in theirs?
Bella Swan – 2012
Nothing gets your mind off sparkly boys and heartache like seeing the whole world go down in flames. Roland Emmerich’s disaster porn is just the cinematic cure for what ails Bella: rampant destruction, tons of violence, and the feeling that the world is coming to an end – which is exactly what she feels after breaking up with Edward.
Jacob Black – Where the Wild Things Are
If anyone knows that monsters can have a cuddly side, it’s Jacob Black. Spike Jonze’s Where the Wild Things Are shares something primal and sensitive with Jacob’s teen wolf psyche and proves that you can be a little wild and a little lovable at the same time. (Now, if only Bella Swan would go see it with him…)
Edward – Angels & Demons
Since Edward never sleeps, he spends a lot of time reading…and when he runs out of the classics, all that’s left are cheesy bestsellers like Angels & Demons. Clandestine organizations operating beneath the streets of Italy have been on Edward’s mind lately anyway. (Edward’s secret guilty pleasure movie: Sandra Bullock’s The Proposal.)
Alice – Knowing
It’s tough being able to predict the future, especially when your visions reveal horrible scenes like an evil vampire tearing up a ballet studio and your BFF jumping off a cliff. So Alex Proyas’s doomsday thriller is sort of cathartic for Alice. After all, if Nicolas Cage can handle knowing the future, anyone can!
Charlie – Taken
What’s a father to do when someone hurts his only daughter? If you’re the strong and silent type like Charlie Swan, you send out an APB and worry in silence. If, on the other hand, you’re Liam Neeson in Taken, you blast your way across Europe killing the sons of bitches. Charlie Swan approves.
Jessica – Zombieland
After that long-winded rant about zombie movies outside the biker bar, we thought Jessica Stanley was done with zombies forever. But then along came Zombieland, the undead sleeper hit of the year. Not even Jessica could resist its charms, although for a perfect double bill she’d pair it with Confessions of a Shopaholic.
Aro – Valentino the Last Emperor
He’s old, he’s Italian, and he likes to wear nice suits. And while Aro hasn’t gotten out much in thousands of years of subterranean Volterra living, he’d make an exception for the acclaimed documentary about Italy’s icon of style.
Victoria – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
After losing James to the Cullen clan in Twilight, Victoria had nothing but vengeance on the brain. Naturally, a film about fighting that has the word “revenge” in the title would make it to the top of her list, though she’d probably hit pause before the good guys win in the end.
Paul – Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
Quileute hothead Paul loves being a werewolf. The only problem is, sometimes he loses control when he gets angry. So the third Underworld film is a perfect pick for him: the hero is a werewolf who leads an army of wolves to victory over their oppressive vampire captors.
Jane – Orphan
Beneath her innocent façade, the Volturi assassin Jane is a sadistic and brutal killer. So she can relate to little Esther, the misunderstood 9-year-old femme fatale of Jaume Collet-Serra’s Orphan. (She might be the only person in the world who can.)
